Commenter Insights

I'd love to share with you what one commenter said about my last post. It was extremely insightful and I absolutely loved it. Shout out again to Ted! Thank you so much for your comment!

  "I prefer to say that marriage requires effort rather than that marriage is hard. "Hard" implies unrewarding, painful, and/or undesirable. That may be in part why so many people avoid it. We don't paint the right picture of what marriage is or can be like.

From what I understand of marriage, I believe that if two emotionally healthy people, young or old, go into a marriage with accurate expectations, most of the time it isn't going to be a painful experience. The unexpected still occurs and sometimes even people we feel we know well do unexpected and hurtful things. But while marriage requires a sense of balance and a willingness to serve, most of the time it is (or can be) the best support system in the world, and the most enjoyable and rewarding way to experience life.

One might say life is "hard," regardless of what one does. It's easier with a dedicated and loving spouse (and harder with an uncommitted and uncaring spouse). So it would seem reasonable to seek one with whom a happy marriage would not be especially difficult to achieve, and to put in the required time and effort to continually achieve it."

Isn't that just incredible? If we portray that marriage requires effort instead of "how hard" it is, we can revolutionize marriage and the family! We can help people realize that marriage is so rewarding and enjoyable, as long as the required effort is put into it. A saying I really like and have learned is this: "What you put into marriage is what you'll get out of it." What a great life pointer to have! If you don't put any effort into your marriage, it will be unfulfilled, not enjoyable, and you'll be completely miserable. Both spouses need to put in full effort in order to gain rewards in the end.