Okay, so last week in Family Relations class we touched on the subject of homosexuality and same-gender attraction. I absolutely LOVE my teacher because he is so kind and loving. He will not label anyone the term "gay" because he feels it demeans them as a person and instead gives them a label. I completely agree with that. I will not deem anyone as "gay." The person themselves may feel obliged to label or call themselves that, but I, for one, will not.
We touched on the subject that same-sex attraction and homosexuality are two different things. I was confused at first by this claim, but then as we talked about it more, it all made sense. Same-sex attraction can happen to anyone and maybe will happen to a lot of people, even if they do not feel the feelings for very long. Homosexuality is when the person acts upon the feelings they feel, not just accepting that they're there. To expound a little on what I've learned, I'll tell you all something very incredibly interesting. A big, deep and long debate has been going on in knowing whether or not a person is born with same-sex attraction. What we learned in class is that, in most cases, many people who are dealing with this struggle have usually been molested at an early age, had a smothering mother, or they never felt that intimate relationship with the same gender growing up-such as having a good, solid friend of the same sex, a peer group who accepted them, etc.
I found this to be extremely bizarre. I had never thought of anything like this! It makes a lot of sense though. Think about it, bear with me here, that if a little boy who grew up and had some female tendencies (as most little boys do) but was not accepted by his male peers because of those tendencies, he immediately feels rejected and starved for those intimate relationships. Sure, he can try to seek them out through female peer groups, but it's never the same. Pretty soon, after being called many things from his peers (or even his parents, more specifically his father), he deems himself to be "gay" and then seeks out to act on that label. It doesn't always happen this way, but if we look into the back stories of those we know who feel this way, we can usually find some very interesting things.
I know that this is a very, very touchy subject and that many of you won't accept what I've had to say. And that's okay, I just wanted to share my findings with you. I love all of my friends who are struggling with this and I don't know what to tell them. I love them so much and appreciate the strength that they've had to go through. From class last week, I know that my teacher loves all of them too and only wants to help in the best way possible. From these findings, I want to encourage those who are struggling to step back and see when they first "discovered" they had homosexual tendencies and to ponder on maybe why that happened or how they came to know that about themselves.
If this offended any of you, that was not my purpose and I am sincerely sorry. I am just opening this subject up to be talked and discussed about in a calmly manner and for both sides to be open minded. I thank everyone in advance for bearing with me through this very touchy subject.
Have you seen this video put out by BYU? http://youtu.be/Ym0jXg-hKCI
ReplyDeleteIt's similar to what you're writing about. Breegan posted it a while back and it's done really well.
That's a pretty Freudian view there.
ReplyDeleteAlso, this conveniently ignores Lesbianism in its entirety. Homosexuality goes both ways.
The thing is, those findings are almost primarily taken from Irving Bieber's studies in the 1960s - studies which interviewed the psychiatrists of the homosexuals in question - not the actually homosexual individuals. The people most qualified to answer were not involved in the study, and it essentially became an opinion poll amongst psychologists in the 1960s.
Needless to say, these findings have been tossed aside by modern psychology in their entirety. These theories, especially that of the smothering mother, continue to pop up in the fringe Christian-right "therapies".
Contrary to popular opinion, there really is no actual debate regarding people being born homosexual. These debates are had by fringe religious organizations with no peer-reviewed and qualified studies regarding this behavior.
In the same way that over 98% of Scientists accept that Human's play some kind of role in Global Climate Change, so too does the vast majority of Psychology today realize that Homosexuality is an innate trait.
I have a follow up question: If anyone can feel Same-Sex Attraction, then wouldn't it stand to reason we are all "born with it"? I'm confused by the claim that anyone can feel Same-Sex Attraction, while also stating that there is a debate regarding whether you are born with it.
Furthermore, doesn't that mean that everyone on Earth would welcome a Same-Sex Relationship?
And in one final note: Homosexual has anything to do with romantic or sexual interest, not just the action itself. That isn't necessarily acting upon the feelings they feel - that's just completely trying to change definitions in order to suit the argument at hand. Homosexuality is defined by the Webster as "of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex".
I wasn't trying to not include Lesbianism. I believe it goes both ways. I really appreciate both of your comments.
ReplyDeleteI realize that this is a very serious and sensitive topic, especially since there is no "real" conclusion. Everything we know is based on theories. I also realize that it is a very bold statement to say that people are involved with playing a role in Homosexuality for others. However, I do think that there is an underlying reason for why these feelings happen in some people. When I said these feelings could happen to anyone, I meant the feelings of wanting to be intimate with the opposite sex, like we all crave. We all want those friendships with our peers, we all want to feel close to someone and like we belong. It's an innate desire humans are born with. Not necessarily the homosexual feelings, but the desire of intimacy.
What you looked up on Webster is what I had said, homosexuality is the feelings you feel and then acting upon them, hence the "tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex." I just wanted to make it clear that homosexuality is the term we should use rather than the label of "gay." I think that those who have homosexual tendencies can change their whole perspective and desires. I know this, I believe in their ability to do so. I believe that those who have these tendencies are such strong individuals who have gone through a lot in their life and are just trying to find their way in this life.
You don't have to agree with anything I say, because as I said before, I just want a nice open minded discussion on here. I'm not trying to degrade or belittle anyone. But I sincerely appreciate your comment! Those are very credible things to look at.