Family Stressors

Last week in my Family Relations class, we learned about the stressors and stress that are present in families. We discussed how stresses in family life can limit communication within the family which is key to working together and getting through hard and trying times. I believe that families who do not communicate well, especially during hard and trying times, leaves them in a state of confusion, hurt, and desperation.

This can be a bold statement to claim; however, I believe it to be true. There are multiple examples all around us that prove this claim. Just in class, my professor stated how his parents didn't really communicate after the death of their first child and it nearly tore them apart. I wasn't there to observe their situation personally, but I understand where they went wrong. I know that communication is key in order to keep a strong bond within the family, especially between husband and wife. Communicating thoughts and feelings can bring spouses together and bind them in ways they never could have imagined.

In certain families I've observed, if the parents don't communicate with each other, there is a lot of confusion, tension, and hurt. Multiple times when the mom wouldn't tell the dad or any of their kids where she was going and just left the house, the dad would get home and ask the kids where their mother was, which resulted with them not being able to tell him. He would get so frustrated about not knowing her whereabouts, especially when she wouldn't answer her phone when he called to find out where she disappeared to. From her perspective, she wasn't doing anything wrong. She was just running to the store, or running errands before dinner. The tension between them at dinner could be felt by all of their kids, and I could tell it was really uncomfortable. The consequences from the lack of communication was substantial! It still continues today, but a lot less often because the dad of the family has talked with the mom about how frustrated it makes him when he comes home and doesn't know where she's gone. Because of this communication, I've noticed that things have gone a lot smoother in this family and there isn't the same tension as before.

Since I have learned from this family, I have been a lot better at communicating how I feel with my fiance. I don't want to have any communication problems in my marriage, and I know it's ridiculous to say that I won't have any, but I will be more astute to limiting the confusion in my marriage by communicating more effectively. One thing that you can do to communicate more effectively are to state your feelings clearly. Don't try to beat around the bush, ignoring your own emotions. Stating them clearly will eliminate a lot of unneeded confusion when both spouses are on the same page. This can take a lot of bravery, especially when you aren't use to expressing your emotions out loud. It would be a good idea to practice now if you're not the best at this communication skill.

I hope that this post helped people understand that communication is so important in marriage, especially with the everyday stresses that we go through. Without communicating our emotions effectively, we can never be understood fully by our spouse, limiting our ability to have a strong, close bond with them.