Marriage and Early Parenthood

So a few weeks ago we learned about the early stages of marriage and early parenthood. When faced with a first child, usually your marital happiness and satisfaction goes down. Why? Wouldn't someone think that a baby would make the marriage more joyful and fulfilling? Well, the truth of the matter is that children bring on all new levels of stress, especially to the parents when they can't communicate well with each other.

I think that early parenthood is one of the most struggling and trying times for people who are married. Not only do they have to change their schedules to fit around their new little bundle of joy, but they have to schedule everything around the spouse's schedule as well, to make sure at least one of them is with the baby at all times (assuming they are not putting their child in daycare~which I strongly agree with). I have seen, through my own eyes, couples going through this very problem. They don't understand how to communicate well with their spouse, and in consequence, they end up arguing about menial things that could have been avoided, causing more stress to their relationship.

Another factor that is put in is that the mothers usually tend to separate themselves from their husbands and cleave to their babies. This is detrimental for the marriage because the husband will not feel loved and will feel shafted from his own wife, the one who is supposed to be his supported through thick and thin. I have seen couples all around campus where the mom is snuggling her baby as the husband stands by, looking uninterested and/or left out of the special moment. These situations are so painful to watch because I know the effects they can have on the marriage. When the wife starts to cleave to her children rather than to her husband (the one she should cling to), then the marriage starts to slowly dissipate because the husband and wife are not bonding together; rather, the wife is bonding to her child. Don't get me wrong, I think that the bond between mother and child is a special, most sacred bond, but the husband needs to be involved.

Overall, this lesson really got me to think about the stresses that children can make on the marriage if the husband and wife have not communicated well with each other beforehand to make sure they were on the same page regarding parenting and the differences that would come with it. I suggest everyone talk and converse with their spouses before starting a family so that there will be no miscommunication between the two in the future and that the stresses will be on the minimal side.