Divorce

"Divorce is not the solution, repentance is." --Dallin H. Oaks

From our discussion on divorce, we learned that divorce has profound effects not only on the children, but on the couple as well. Many think that with divorce comes a dissolution of their marriage as well as their problems. This is a misconception. With divorce comes many more problems. You now have to work with your children between two places, you now have more financial issues due to court fees and separate spending on the children.

Divorce has many psychological effects on both the parents and children. With divorce, you lose someone whom you trusted and gave your whole life to. Now that you have gone your separate ways, it can be hard to view them trying to find other relationships--which most likely will not work out either--another misconception.

You can avoid divorce by communicating clearly with your spouse, learning to understand their point of view, being willing to compromise on issues, stating clearly your feelings, and trying to spend lots of time together. Divorce doesn't have to be the answer to a declining marriage, repentance can.

Parenting

Now this lesson was interesting! I loved learning about parenting and the different styles that parents use within their own families.

Permissive:  This style of parenting is the laid-back "I'll let them do what they want and they can learn from their mistakes themselves" mentality. This is not a safe method to use. Although the children can learn from their own mistakes, there needs to be clear boundaries that restrict certain, dangerous behaviors.

Authoritarian: This style of parenting is a "dictator" type model, disciplines harshly for misdeeds, "It's my home so you will do as we say" type of mentality. This is not the kind of parenting style you want to use. Although parents are the authoritative figures in the home, there needs to be a balance between discipline and learning from their own mistakes through a loving environment.

Authoritative: This style of parenting is the ultimate goal we are reaching for as parents. It is used in a loving, warm environment and puts clear boundaries on acceptable behavior. You still allow the child to learn from their mistakes, but you are still there as a guide to help them along the way.

Many children who grow up in a permissive or authoritarian home tend to distrust the world, whereas those who grew up under an authoritative home are more likely to succeed in the world.

I remember growing up in an authoritative environment. My parents were very clear on certain rules and boundaries, but they still allowed me to do things that I learned my lesson from. They never let me do anything dangerous or too stupid, and they always disciplined out of love, never out of contempt for my actions.

If we understand the importance and differences of these parenting styles and strive to follow the authoritative model of parenting, then we will most likely raise children who will be successful in the world and who show the amount of respect that us parents deserve.

Fathers

Many people don't have the opportunity (for whatever reason) to grow up with a father figure in the home. Having been someone who has had the experience of having a father in the home, I feel very blessed. I have learned a great deal more about fathers and their importance in the family. We had to write a paper on fatherhood and the importance of fathers in the home, and so I want to share that with you today as my blog post. I hope from this you will all understand the divine importance of fathers. Here goes:

The effect that fathers have on families regarding the raising of their children is enormous, and is often overlooked by the public. A substantial amount of trust can be developed within the relationships of husband and wife, and father and child when the proper care is taken to expound on those relationships within the family. I believe that fathers have the divine right and privilege to be apart of their children’s lives just as much as their wives have, and that they have the solemn duty to work alongside their wife throughout the parenting process.

A study done about the father’s role in the family in 1997 was compiled by psychologist Michael Lamb, titled The Role of the Father. In this study, Lamb wanted to reveal some underlying ideas of what the role of the father had in the family. From this, I determined five points that were important to touch on and talk about: the amount of involvement of the father in the family, the influence that ideologies and views have on fathers, the shift of the father’s role throughout the century, the quality time fathers spend with their families, and finally, the unfilled parental role fathers are demonstrating.

The first point is the involvement that fathers have in the family. The study stated, “Many fathers assume essentially no responsibility (as defined by participation in key decisions, availability at short notice, involvement in the care of sick children, management and selection of alternative child care, etc.) for their children’s care or rearing” (Tamis-Lemonda). This statement disturbed me that fathers were denying their involvement in the care for their children, especially through hard times like sickness and short notice. Fathers need to take the responsibility for their children and get involved in their lives-not only for the “fun parts,” but during the hard parts as well. Getting involved will show the kids that their father cares for them, even in times of need and that they can rely on their dad to come to their aid for future times.

The influence that ideologies and views have on fathers can also be a reason why fathers aren’t as involved as they could and should be. “Historical, cultural, and familial ideologies inform the roles fathers play and undoubtedly shape the absolute amounts of time fathers spend with their children, the activities they share with them, and perhaps even the quality of the father-child relationships” (Lamb). I think that the fathers that feel and have come to know that the “ideal” dad is one who goes to work, comes home, eats dinner, then goes to bed is one that should be portrayed within their own families by them. These views have been falsified by the media, our cultures and our opinions. Fathers shouldn’t go off of what they hear or see in the world, they should determine the type of father they want to be and set goals to become better.

Along with the influences that are all around fathers today, there has been an intense shift in the way that fathers have been viewed throughout the years. Lamb stated: 

By popular consensus, fathers were primarily responsible for ensuring that their children grew up with an appropriate sense of values, acquired primarily from a study of the Bible and other scriptural texts. Around the time of industrialization, however, primary focus shifted from moral leadership to breadwinning and economic support of the family. Then, perhaps as a result of the Great Depression, which revealed many men as poor providers, social scientists came to portray fathers as sex-role models, with commentators expressing concern about the failures of many men to model masculine behavior for their sons. Throughout the 20th century, fathers were urged to be involved (Griswold, 1993), and following feminist and scholarly critiques of masculinity and femininity, there emerged in the late 1970s a new concern with the new nurturant father, who played an active role in his children’s lives.

The shifts in views of what a father should be throughout the century can surely have an impact on fathers today and certainly confuse them as to what kind of father they should be for their families. From the stay at home dad teaching Christian values, to the breadwinner of the family working sixty-plus hours a week, there’s no wonder why fathers are having a hard time balancing work and family life. While they may feel they are accomplishing what the wife wants him to do, bringing home the bacon, they may be doing the complete opposite instead—not being home with her and the kids. This shift impacts how the family views the father, as well as how the father views himself. Placing the shifting views on himself will cause confusion and rupture to his family life. If fathers will just stick to the view on what they believe a father should be and act upon that view, the shift in views of what a typical father should be will diminish in their minds.

Fathers don’t only need to know what kind of father they want to be, but they need to know how to spend the time they have with their children. The father could have two minutes or two hours to spend with their kids, but it’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality that really counts. The article said, “…most studies suggest that mothers play with their children more than fathers do, but because play (particularly boisterous, stimulating, and emotionally arousing play) is more prominent in father-child interaction, paternal playfulness and relative novelty may help make fathers especially salient to their children (Lamb, Frodi, Hwang, & Frodi, 1983). This enhanced salience may increase fathers’ influence more than would be expected based on the amount of time they spend with their children” (Tamis-Lemonda). This “playtime” that the fathers portrays and execute in their families can show his kids and wife that he cares for them and wants to spend quality time with them. It doesn’t have to be very long; just a few minutes could mean the world to his family for the few precious moments of his attention he shows them. Through this attention, he could influence his family in multiple ways because of the love he shows them. Having a strong, loving bond increases the fathers’ ability to reach out to his children in their times of need and influence them in ways he could not have imagined had he not played with them.

            Contrasted to the influence that fathers can have when they spend quality time with their families is the unfilled parental role they are demonstrating instead. “…[F]ather absence may be harmful not necessarily because a sex-role model is absent but because many paternal roles—economic, social, emotional—go unfilled or inappropriately filled in these families. Once again, the evidence suggests that recognition of the father’s multiple roles as breadwinner, parent, and emotional partner is essential for understanding how fathers influence children’s development” (Lamb). Because of the multiple titles that fathers have in the home, it can be stressful and tiring to fill all of them. By recognizing the father as all of these roles in one person, instead of one person with multiple roles, this can greatly impact his role in the family and show him that his family knows that he is a busy man who can be all of these things through patience and time. By not fulfilling the parental role, this causes much strife within the marriage and the children will most likely lean to mom for most of their needs, causing more stress on the mom and broken relationships between father and child because there is no structure to build off of.

            I am so thankful that I had a father that was very involved with my life and the life of my siblings. He would always take the time to play with us, even if it wasn’t for very long. I remember all the times he would get home, put down his briefcase and keys, and then start chasing us up and down the hallways and stairs. I remember the love he showed to my mom and the constant support he was to her in disciplining us when we weren’t so obedient. He never left the parenting up to her; they were always a constant team.  

From observing this, I’ve come to realize that his parenting and interaction with us really shaped who I am today. If he hadn’t been home, or if he hadn’t played with us the way he did, I wouldn’t have the fond memories I have of him today. I wouldn’t even know him very well. My father was never a big talker of emotions, but he would be an excellent listener and just listen to what we kids had to say, no matter how long it took us. I know for a fact that I wouldn’t know what a real father should be. I would think that all a father was would be a person whom I would see every once in awhile, who was married to my mom and not know why, who went to work, came home, ate dinner, watched some TV, then went to bed to start it all over the next day. Because of the example my father set, I now know what a true father should be—one who is there for their kids, one who supports them through all the trials in their lives, and one who knows their kids individually and each of their needs on a one-on-one basis.

The standard my dad set in the family for what a father should be is the standard I’m setting for my future husband. I am engaged right now, and I’ve talked with my fiancé about parenting styles and how he viewed how fathers should be and what they should do. I’ve shared my own thoughts with him in how my dad acted and that I wanted our future family to have the same relationships that my siblings and I had with our father. From this conversation, I was able to enact some specific things that our family will do to ensure that my fiancé will be an involved dad.

First, he will be there through the whole process of pregnancy and birth. If the father isn’t there through the process, he doesn’t feel the connection that the mom naturally has when the child is born. By having him there, he will feel more connected to the child and feel like he has responsibility to care for them. Another thing that I will do is to make sure my husband has a job with adequate hours. I will not support him in taking on a job that has ridiculously crazy hours that puts him into a position where he wouldn’t see me, or the kids, on a daily basis. I want to make sure my kids see their daddy preferably before work, and certainly after work.

Another step that I will take to ensure my husband is involved with the family is the commandment of having Family Home Evenings once a week, usually on Mondays. By doing this, it solidifies participation from the entire family and that way our kids will be able to see their father in a spiritual light, as well as the head of the household in leading FHE. Also, the involvement of him coming to support our children in any extracurricular activities that they are in will help to make sure he is there for all of our children, showing them that he cares about what they do. Whether it be a band concert, choir concert, sporting event, or theater performance, I will make sure that he, as well as the rest of the family, come to support whatever child is in that performance. It will bring support and solitude to our family when we are all together; supporting one another in things we enjoy doing.

By taking these steps and actions to make sure my husband is involved with the family more than he is involved with work, will strengthen our family and create more friendships and bonding moments that my family experienced while I was growing up. The influence that fathers have on the home is enormous, and if fathers would just realize their potential and immense support they provide to their families, history would surely be changed.

Communication

I talked a little bit about communication last time in regards to family stressors and its importance to work through them. This week, I will go more in depth about why communication is so important.

With communication, there is a sender and receiver of messages. Between them can be noise, which can interfere with the message being sent. This noise can be anything ranging from the environment to how you feel about the sender of the message. Both parties need to realize going in that their ability to communicate could be compromised by many factors.

Another thing about communication and why it's so important within relationships and marriages is that is brings everyone to the same page. There will be less miscommunication and a better understanding of one another and their point of view. Some tips in communicating include:

• Listening with real intent
• Listen to understand, not to correct
• Don't try to solve the problem right there, listen first, then work out problems together
• Notice non-verbal cues
• Make the environment a positive one
• Be open-minded

After being in a communications class, it has really helped me with my Family Relations class because I understand that proper communication can benefit everyone, not just married couples.

Just remember, communication is key to having a strong relationship with anyone!

Family Stressors

Last week in my Family Relations class, we learned about the stressors and stress that are present in families. We discussed how stresses in family life can limit communication within the family which is key to working together and getting through hard and trying times. I believe that families who do not communicate well, especially during hard and trying times, leaves them in a state of confusion, hurt, and desperation.

This can be a bold statement to claim; however, I believe it to be true. There are multiple examples all around us that prove this claim. Just in class, my professor stated how his parents didn't really communicate after the death of their first child and it nearly tore them apart. I wasn't there to observe their situation personally, but I understand where they went wrong. I know that communication is key in order to keep a strong bond within the family, especially between husband and wife. Communicating thoughts and feelings can bring spouses together and bind them in ways they never could have imagined.

In certain families I've observed, if the parents don't communicate with each other, there is a lot of confusion, tension, and hurt. Multiple times when the mom wouldn't tell the dad or any of their kids where she was going and just left the house, the dad would get home and ask the kids where their mother was, which resulted with them not being able to tell him. He would get so frustrated about not knowing her whereabouts, especially when she wouldn't answer her phone when he called to find out where she disappeared to. From her perspective, she wasn't doing anything wrong. She was just running to the store, or running errands before dinner. The tension between them at dinner could be felt by all of their kids, and I could tell it was really uncomfortable. The consequences from the lack of communication was substantial! It still continues today, but a lot less often because the dad of the family has talked with the mom about how frustrated it makes him when he comes home and doesn't know where she's gone. Because of this communication, I've noticed that things have gone a lot smoother in this family and there isn't the same tension as before.

Since I have learned from this family, I have been a lot better at communicating how I feel with my fiance. I don't want to have any communication problems in my marriage, and I know it's ridiculous to say that I won't have any, but I will be more astute to limiting the confusion in my marriage by communicating more effectively. One thing that you can do to communicate more effectively are to state your feelings clearly. Don't try to beat around the bush, ignoring your own emotions. Stating them clearly will eliminate a lot of unneeded confusion when both spouses are on the same page. This can take a lot of bravery, especially when you aren't use to expressing your emotions out loud. It would be a good idea to practice now if you're not the best at this communication skill.

I hope that this post helped people understand that communication is so important in marriage, especially with the everyday stresses that we go through. Without communicating our emotions effectively, we can never be understood fully by our spouse, limiting our ability to have a strong, close bond with them.

Sexual Intimacy

So, today I will be talking about what our class discussed last week on sexual intimacy in marriage. What I got out of the lesson was what most of us already know: men and women have different sexual responses that can lead to unfulfilled marriages if not understood by either spouse. The knowledge about the differences between the sexes can be the floodgate for ultimate fulfillment in marriage! Once understood, the differences can be viewed as God-given and will ultimately make sense in the long run through the complimentary factors these differences make.

In the book, And They Were Not Ashamed by Laura Brotherson, it specifies the differences between the sexes, specifically outlining the complex response cycle of women. Throughout the book, she mentions stories of couples who were unsatisfied with their marriages, specifically pertaining to sexual intimacy.

What many people do not know, men and women included, is that women take a lot longer to "warm-up" and be mentally prepared for sex. Contrasted to men who are ready sexually at the snap of a finger, women can take 10 times as long to warm up to just the idea of having sex. Many men don't understand why their wives are never "in the mood" to have sex. It may just be that they aren't doing a very good job at being their lovers! Women need to be loved and shown affection long before sex is even a thought. They need to feel like their husbands love them as a person, not as an object for their sexual pleasure. The complete opposite is for men! Men need to have sex in order to feel loved! See how this big difference can create immense problems in marriage??

The main thing that I can leave with you is that men need to be more sensitive to their wives feelings in loving them and taking time with them before pursuing sex, and women need to be willing, mentally and physically, to prepare for sex. Oh, another piece of advice: read And They Were Not Ashamed. Best book ever.

Marriage and Early Parenthood

So a few weeks ago we learned about the early stages of marriage and early parenthood. When faced with a first child, usually your marital happiness and satisfaction goes down. Why? Wouldn't someone think that a baby would make the marriage more joyful and fulfilling? Well, the truth of the matter is that children bring on all new levels of stress, especially to the parents when they can't communicate well with each other.

I think that early parenthood is one of the most struggling and trying times for people who are married. Not only do they have to change their schedules to fit around their new little bundle of joy, but they have to schedule everything around the spouse's schedule as well, to make sure at least one of them is with the baby at all times (assuming they are not putting their child in daycare~which I strongly agree with). I have seen, through my own eyes, couples going through this very problem. They don't understand how to communicate well with their spouse, and in consequence, they end up arguing about menial things that could have been avoided, causing more stress to their relationship.

Another factor that is put in is that the mothers usually tend to separate themselves from their husbands and cleave to their babies. This is detrimental for the marriage because the husband will not feel loved and will feel shafted from his own wife, the one who is supposed to be his supported through thick and thin. I have seen couples all around campus where the mom is snuggling her baby as the husband stands by, looking uninterested and/or left out of the special moment. These situations are so painful to watch because I know the effects they can have on the marriage. When the wife starts to cleave to her children rather than to her husband (the one she should cling to), then the marriage starts to slowly dissipate because the husband and wife are not bonding together; rather, the wife is bonding to her child. Don't get me wrong, I think that the bond between mother and child is a special, most sacred bond, but the husband needs to be involved.

Overall, this lesson really got me to think about the stresses that children can make on the marriage if the husband and wife have not communicated well with each other beforehand to make sure they were on the same page regarding parenting and the differences that would come with it. I suggest everyone talk and converse with their spouses before starting a family so that there will be no miscommunication between the two in the future and that the stresses will be on the minimal side.

Dating

Last week in class we talked about the importance of dating. Fun topic, right?? Well, it's a lot more tricky than just fun. Dating shouldn't be a race to intimacy. When you are intimate with someone, especially before marriage, you become attached and bound to them and it is hard to think straight (i.e. hard to determine whether the person is right for you to marry). It was great going through all the steps of dating, because it validated the relationship I had and went through with my fiance.

It can be really hard to follow the steps to date. You first need to start by hanging out and dating a lot of different people. Dating is different than courtship. Courtship is being with the same person in an intimate relationship, going down the path towards engagement, and then eventually marriage. Dating is going on dates with multiple people, testing the waters to see what kind of person you'd want to be with for the rest of your life. A lot of the time, people race right through the dating process and go straight to courtship. A lot of high schoolers go through this, and it ends up harming their emotional well-being, especially if the relationship doesn't work out.

After this lesson, I realized that I knew Ryan a looooong time before we even started dating, and I had dated a lot of different friends throughout high school-just going on different dates with a bunch of different guys. After realizing from them the kind of people I didn't want to marry, and who were just really good friends, it was really easy to see that Ryan was the one for me when we went on a couple of dates. After going on a few dates, we didn't see each other for about a year. We then saw each other and when on a few more dates and decided, together, that we should see where we could go by courting. Now look-we're happily engaged and oh so excited to have found our eternal partner!

In order for relationships to work out, there needs to be set boundaries, set lines and set steps to go through. Dating, courtship, engagement, then marriage. Only through these steps can we attain a well-made decision for who we will marry.

Bear With Me

Okay, so last week in Family Relations class we touched on the subject of homosexuality and same-gender attraction. I absolutely LOVE my teacher because he is so kind and loving. He will not label anyone the term "gay" because he feels it demeans them as a person and instead gives them a label. I completely agree with that. I will not deem anyone as "gay." The person themselves may feel obliged to label or call themselves that, but I, for one, will not.

We touched on the subject that same-sex attraction and homosexuality are two different things. I was confused at first by this claim, but then as we talked about it more, it all made sense. Same-sex attraction can happen to anyone and maybe will happen to a lot of people, even if they do not feel the feelings for very long. Homosexuality is when the person acts upon the feelings they feel, not just accepting that they're there. To expound a little on what I've learned, I'll tell you all something very incredibly interesting. A big, deep and long debate has been going on in knowing whether or not a person is born with same-sex attraction. What we learned in class is that, in most cases, many people who are dealing with this struggle have usually been molested at an early age, had a smothering mother, or they never felt that intimate relationship with the same gender growing up-such as having a good, solid friend of the same sex, a peer group who accepted them, etc.

I found this to be extremely bizarre. I had never thought of anything like this! It makes a lot of sense though. Think about it, bear with me here, that if a little boy who grew up and had some female tendencies (as most little boys do) but was not accepted by his male peers because of those tendencies, he immediately feels rejected and starved for those intimate relationships. Sure, he can try to seek them out through female peer groups, but it's never the same. Pretty soon, after being called many things from his peers (or even his parents, more specifically his father), he deems himself to be "gay" and then seeks out to act on that label. It doesn't always happen this way, but if we look into the back stories of those we know who feel this way, we can usually find some very interesting things.

I know that this is a very, very touchy subject and that many of you won't accept what I've had to say. And that's okay, I just wanted to share my findings with you. I love all of my friends who are struggling with this and I don't know what to tell them. I love them so much and appreciate the strength that they've had to go through. From class last week, I know that my teacher loves all of them too and only wants to help in the best way possible. From these findings, I want to encourage those who are struggling to step back and see when they first "discovered" they had homosexual tendencies and to ponder on maybe why that happened or how they came to know that about themselves.

If this offended any of you, that was not my purpose and I am sincerely sorry. I am just opening this subject up to be talked and discussed about in a calmly manner and for both sides to be open minded. I thank everyone in advance for bearing with me through this very touchy subject.

Culture Differences

Hey all! So last week we learned about the struggles a marriage can have because of culture differences. Not just differences in ethnicity backgrounds, but also financial backgrounds. If someone comes from a wealthy background, it's usually very hard for them to integrate into a relationship when the partner comes from a less-wealthy family. Arguments on what to spend the money on arises, how to obtain the money, and what is the necessities in life.

For example, if a woman came from a wealthier background and married a middle income man, her image of an ideal living situation would probably be different than the man's. His job would most likely provide for just the bare necessities to survive on, maybe a few things for fun here and there, but ultimately, she would be in a situation that was way different than how she grew up.

I found this to be extremely interesting and fascinating. I want to know if any of you have been or have seen situations like this. How did it make you feel? What difficulties arose? How did you handle those differences? Did you change your perception on what was important? How did this make your family member/spouse feel?

There are so many different situations that arise when it comes to financial stability and I'd love to hear everyone's views on this! I'd love to hear opposing views to this as well!

Family Systems

Hello again! I'm going to be writing two posts today because I forgot to upload one last week about what I learned! It was very interesting! It consisted of family systems and their value to the family unit. There are 4 family theories that we learned about:

-Systems Theory: relationships analyzed as a whole, parts influence each other. There are roles and rules. A lot of the time homeostatic mechanisms are used to keep things in our families in check and keep them the same. An example would be if a sibling was always a troublemaker but wanted to change but the family still sees them as the troublemaker.
-Exchange Theory: an attempt to keep costs lower than rewards, or otherwise, "you owe me one" mentality.
-Symbolic Theory: shaped by interaction experiences. I think a lot of families use this theory because everyone has interactions with others.
-Conflict Theory: societies characterized by inequality. This is when an authoritative figure overpowers most of the family.

These systems made me evaluate my own family and the systems that I've seen used throughout my life. My family has definitely used Systems Theory, Symbolic Theory and at times have used Conflict Theory.

What systems have your family used?

Commenter Insights

I'd love to share with you what one commenter said about my last post. It was extremely insightful and I absolutely loved it. Shout out again to Ted! Thank you so much for your comment!

  "I prefer to say that marriage requires effort rather than that marriage is hard. "Hard" implies unrewarding, painful, and/or undesirable. That may be in part why so many people avoid it. We don't paint the right picture of what marriage is or can be like.

From what I understand of marriage, I believe that if two emotionally healthy people, young or old, go into a marriage with accurate expectations, most of the time it isn't going to be a painful experience. The unexpected still occurs and sometimes even people we feel we know well do unexpected and hurtful things. But while marriage requires a sense of balance and a willingness to serve, most of the time it is (or can be) the best support system in the world, and the most enjoyable and rewarding way to experience life.

One might say life is "hard," regardless of what one does. It's easier with a dedicated and loving spouse (and harder with an uncommitted and uncaring spouse). So it would seem reasonable to seek one with whom a happy marriage would not be especially difficult to achieve, and to put in the required time and effort to continually achieve it."

Isn't that just incredible? If we portray that marriage requires effort instead of "how hard" it is, we can revolutionize marriage and the family! We can help people realize that marriage is so rewarding and enjoyable, as long as the required effort is put into it. A saying I really like and have learned is this: "What you put into marriage is what you'll get out of it." What a great life pointer to have! If you don't put any effort into your marriage, it will be unfulfilled, not enjoyable, and you'll be completely miserable. Both spouses need to put in full effort in order to gain rewards in the end.

Marriage Trends

Today we live in a world that doesn't support the family unit as much as it should. Many worldly trends have come about, such as cohabitation, premarital sex, partnerships, delaying marriage, delaying a family/children, etc. Why has our world come to this? Why hasn't the family unit stayed intact? I think a reason might be because we as a nation aren't willing to work hard for a successful marriage. We as Americans are a lazy people who rely so much on technology and new inventions. Marriage is a hard and tricky lifestyle to master-if you can even say you can "master" marriage. I think that we try and take the easy way out. Instead of committing to marriage, we decide to cohabit with someone. Instead of starting a family with our spouse, we put it off, claiming we aren't financially ready for it. No one will ever be financially ready for children! Why prolong giving a child a life just because you won't be financially comfortable? This is where we go wrong. Our own selfish desires get in the way of making sacrifices. We need to make it known to the world that families are important! Families are the basic, fundamental unit of life, love and happiness! If you want to read more about why the family unit is important, click here.

Help the world know about this importance! Share with your friends the beauty of the family! I invite everyone, both young and old, male and female, bond and free to join in this movement of supporting the family unit.

Nice to Meet You!

Hey everyone! I'm Tashara Tavernier and this will be a blog compiling my thoughts, opinions and suggestions on the family unit and its importance in society and in everyday life. I love reading and writing and am majoring in Marriage and Family studies, wanting to become a marriage and family counselor. I just recently got engaged to the love of my life and will be married for time and all eternity on August 24th. I'm super excited for this class to learn more about marriage and families, especially since I'll be starting my own soon! I can't wait to meet everyone and learn lots!